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Hiding Behind Contracts

Ó By Kenneth Betts, 2002

“He cheated me” is one of the most common complaints I hear from expats who are just getting settled into life and business in the Arab world.  A friend of mine recently complained to me about the kerosene dealer who was using a small measure.  Others have complained about being over charged for house rentals.  One paid more than 50% above the going rate for a desktop computer he bought from a friend!  I recently paid 20% more for an air ticket I bought from my friend than I would have from his competitor across the street.

 Are the Arabs ruthless swindlers?  Not at all.  They are commensurate players of the chess-game-of-life.  Each day, each business interaction is a new and exciting challenge of wit and skill.  Each transaction is the measure of a master on an open playing field.

 I grew up in a life based on contracts.  Many were explicit.  My first employment contract, at the age of 14, clearly stated my duties, my hours, and my wages.  Then there was the contract with the college I studied at.  We don’t usually call it by the name “contract.”  But, as any contract, it clearly stated what was expected of me and what I would get in return.  I paid my bills, studied my courses, wrote my papers, and got my due reward.  Others were implicit.  Like a contract with the police department.  Be a law abiding citizen, and the police are there to keep you safe; break the terms of the contract, and you will pay. 

 With time, there grows a feeling of security with contracts.  They are predictable.  They can be adjudicated by a third, impartial, party when things go wrong.  We feel that they level the playing field and reduce the tyranny of the powerful.

 In a way, contracts are like defensive structures on the playing field of life.  We can hide behind them and feel safe.  Each new contract is a work of strategic art.  Carefully placed to give strategic defense and/or offence in business or even in life in general.   

 For some people, the love affair with contracts gets so deep that they begin to see all of life through the terms of a contract.  Marriages, parental relationships, and even religion can become more places to build contracts that keep us safe, protected, and in control of life.

 When the love of contracts goes unchecked, the skillfully crafted structures can eventually isolate us in our own bunkers cutting off all meaningful relationships.  Just as much as an ancient hermit in his cave hiding from life, we become modern hermits hiding from life in our contracts.

 Along comes the master of the open playing field, the Arab.  The contract is a joke to him; it’s just a cage that makes the movements of his opponent that much more predicable.  He has no desire to hide in contracts.  He loves the chess-game-of-life; each move is bold, daring, and exciting.  Mobility and flexibility are paramount.

 I have often stopped in fascination to watch Arab children playing marbles in the street.  Not that marbles are any different in the Arab world than they are in my home country.  It’s just that more time and energy is spent in negotiating and renegotiating the game than in learning the skills of tossing and rolling marbles.  Even as I’m writing, my kids and the neighbor’s kids are heartily negotiating a computer game.  It takes years of practice to master the skills of the open playing field, unencumbered by the bulky, heavy and unmovable structures called contracts.

 For the traditional Arab, the knowledge that God holds destiny in His hand is all the security he needs.  For others, the thrill of the cheers from the watching crowds is all-important.

So the inhabiter of contract shelters meets the master of bold wit on the open ground of the Middle East.  The lover of predictability comes to live in the society of the daring crowd thriller.  What can an expat do to survive?  Is it possible to learn to enjoy life in the open?  Yes, it definitely is.  Here are some practical suggestions that will help get an expat over the shock and into the game.

·        Learn to be a guest.  The Arab sense of hospitality is very important to him.  Let him be a host.  Let Arabs feel that you are under their care.  Especially in the first few months, let the host negotiate for you when possible.

·        Learn to watch and learn.  Watch how other Arabs deal with negotiating and copy them.

·        When you think you have been cheated, you should never get angry.  Instead, look for advice or help from an Arab friend.

·        Learn to think of each day as a new chess game.  Start fresh each day and don’t keep a running score. 

·        Learn to enjoy the times you win.  Share your success, and losses, with your friends and laugh about them both.

·        Always be respectful, polite and friendly.  Like a friendly game of touch football, no one wants to hurt the players on the other team.  But, if it turns nasty, your opponent could decide to go out for blood.

·        If you feel a friend has cheated you, confront him politely and in private.  Assure him that the value of the relationship is way beyond what you lost.  Never threaten to break the relationship, that will anger him.

·        Arabs respect good sportsmanship, and gaining that respect will eventually help you in your negotiating.

 Many expats do learn to play the open field like a master.  The Arabs feel honored by the respect this shows for their culture.  And, the expats find the skills developed useful in their home countries as well.  They are rewarded many times over for their diligence.  So, let the games begin!  May the best sportsman win!

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